design happens

I had the fortunate experience to be around a very talented stain glass designer many years ago when I was trying to understand my own creative musings. We were at her home / studio and just wandering through it when she talked about how she "assembled" her designs. She would look through many of the books that she had to get ideas and reference the images that traditionally surrounded the topic (most of her work is religious)... of course, she also was very familiar with the subject as well.

What I learned is that design happens over time - not, that it just happens. Who I am and how I experience life informs my work. The time I spend in the garden helps me to develop my sense of and knowledge of color and texture.
Witnessing other people's work, looking and asking and looking again, informs my work. Surrounding myself with art from other artists allows me to see the work again and again through the prism of time and during major life changes and with friends who share their insight of the pieces.

I want to create designs for fabric...
I have wanted to do this for years. I want to use my digital photographs, computer, a scanner and botanical prints.
I collect clippings from catalogs of fabrics that have the kind of prints that I like.


Today, I noticed a card that caught my eye. I realized that I want to start photographing these treasures that are allowing design to happen for me so that I can start to develop my own designs.

Does design just happen - no - inspiration happens over time.

Elizabeth Alexander is the poet that President-elect Obama chose to compose and read a poem for his inauguration. I heard an interview with her on NPR this morning called "Weaving Words For The Inaugural Poem". She was asked how she writes her poems.

"Pen, paper, computer? How do you write?"

She says that her inspiration comes as she moves through her days so she starts with notes on "scraps of paper".

She spoke about being "humble before the muse" and how she has many false starts.

"I begin, often, with scraps of paper, because, poems for me begin when I am in the midst of doing things that I do on regular days - teaching, picking up my children, making dinner. I always have a pen and paper nearby because in the meditative snatches of time, in the midst of the day, I find that many, many, many phrases often come to me. And then, once I have some clear time to myself, that's when I gather the scraps and see what's there and see what has a life that goes beyond the fragment. After I've drafted it on legal pad that's when it goes on the computer."

...meditative snatches of time...

2009 ideas

celebrate heath!

expand my activity as the fatigue continues to lift

gather with friends and family

find a GP MD to compliment the work of Derek and Patrick

plan for a retreat from the summer heat

know my money

restore my home

men / women - male / female - feminine / masculine

again the theme arises in my life - the contrasts and complimentary natures of the cultural and biological distinctions of the genders.

...early on, in my teens and early twenties, I insisted that there was no difference, mostly as a defensive posture to allow the world to be open to me. At the time, the cultural definitions that I came to know - within my family, within the Southwest and within America - of men and women, limited each gender's access to the exploration of innate talents. The social framework in which I lived was influencing my point of view - progressive thought seeping into my consciousness from the 70's, a Jesuit college in the Bay Area and the prevailing atmosphere in Northern California. A very narrow offering existed for women in my social economic situation - attending a private college and exploring subjects other than home economics, teaching or nursing were not seen as an option from my father's perspective - yet my mother softly encouraged it - no other adult figure surfaced as a role model or a guide, so I wandered along by myself and with friends I meet along my path.

I knew that the life I had been exposed to did not hold a future for me: Why are there no women in positions of influence and power within the Catholic Church? Why are women not allowed to become priests or hold titles of consequence? Why do women have to stay home and have babies? Why do we have to get married? Why do we have to learn how to type to make money? Why are we the ones taking care of children and the house instead of sharing that responsibility so we too can develop our talents in other areas and travel for business? Why are men in control of the money and therefore the power within a marriage? Why do I have to address envelopes instead of cleaning cars on the lot at the family business - and not allowed to chose? Why can't I get a job other than as a waitress or salesperson in retail? Why won't you let me work during the summer break? Self sufficiency was not expected since being married and having a husband would take care of that, was the message from my father, who I viewed as a very intense, dominating, volatile and intimidating force within our family.

As I continued to weave my life story, I insisted on pursuing other options. Women could certainly compete with men in business, science and sports... all areas that held an interest for me... all areas that my father and mother exposed me to yet set limitations on - the accepted culture of the time. In college there were many opportunities for me to develop my athletic ability yet there was a very limited budget and staff to coach and manage the teams, and equipment was old. So even though I participated in my sports and on various teams, the women's athletic department was just women's recreation - the money and attention went to the men's teams.

One academic counsellor I had in college suggested that I might be interested in pursuing a job at Gumps - a high end retail store in San Francisco. Another one, chosen by my father, was a very old Philosophy professor who had no idea how to talk to a young woman to guide her in her choices. So I tested myself in lots of different areas... chemistry, engineering, psychology, arts - later in life realizing that the school did not offer the areas of most interest to me - botany and design.

solstice 1.0

so it happened - finally! I was able to be with those who are open to acknowledging the natural cycle of our planet's place in the universe and the physical changing of light within our lives.

We created a simple gathering which expressed awe for the impact it has on us as human animals individually and within our cultures... modern and ancient alike - from local wisdom and our childhood memories.

This solstice gathering was about trying to understand the traditions that exist and what place they have in reality... what is real is that it is the shortest day of the year, what is real is that there is less light, what is real is that we live in the Sonoran desert...


to be continued...
new year
burning / releasing something
sage / lavender
dark / light

silence

"Silence isn’t a blank. It’s the pregnant possibility of what is about to be born."


"... Silence is the mystery I deal in. Silence and light. So I had no trouble recognizing the light that Jesus brought with him.

Deepak Chopra 'Jesus: A Story of Enlightenment'

winter holiday celebrations

...for years - maybe 10 or more - I have been trying to design a holiday tradition for myself that reflects my beliefs. I found that this is a bigger effort than I ever expected - revising and / or creating new traditions. I thought I could replace everything that existed overnight - boy, was I wrong... it has taken years of thoughtful contemplation to understand what would satisfy my soul.

For me, the main reason for the celebrations this time of year, is a carry over from the Catholic traditions within which I was raised - our spiritual connection to each other through love, our connection to all the creatures on the earth and awe of the universe. Love and Nature...

Now, since my beliefs have moved from a specific religion to a broader spiritual view, what rituals can I adopt or create that would help me to celebrate the themes of the season?

I found that totally rejecting everything left a huge void that I did not like. I started with the negatives - what bothered me about the season? I guess I started that way because I was so put off by the need to spend without thought and give stuff without need, show up for services without feelings.

Some of the elements that I have discovered are essential to me to complete the season are: spiritual ritual to honor each other and the awe of nature, gatherings with family and friends to renew and find joy with each other, reviewing the past year and acknowledging the blessings, sharing this acknowledgment with friends and family, singing, giving - a way of sharing blessings.


As far as gatherings go, in the past, Paul and I had a tree trimming party to bring people into our home to celebrate. My family went to midnight mass (which turned into just Christmas eve mass - not at midnight) on Christmas eve and then over to my parent's for a gathering and exchange of gifts. Paul and I would take turns spending time with our families - early Christmas eve with his family and then late Christmas eve with mine.

So many things have changed since then. Paul is gone. Only his sister and her family are left and we don't really stay in touch. My family is changing as well.

I am uncomfortable with the focus on gift giving. I don't like the commercial aspect, especially when it creeps more and more into the Fall (I love Thanksgiving Day celebrations and don't like that to be overshadowed) instead of just being a season of giving in the days close to Christmas... and the tradition of Santa Claus? - not compatible with this desert dweller in Arizona. I am delighted that my family finally included me by having a White Elephant gift exchange. This has become a wonderful, fun event that even I, the originator of the theme for our family, did not foresee.

The more I thought about it, even a Christmas tree does not fit into my environment and life style. I love the smell of conifer trees so when we had a tree I made sure we had a live tree and then recycled it through the city. Without a tree and all of the ornaments - what's a person to do? ...now tree trimming does not make sense. Does one try to find a local substitute to a conifer and decorate it?

I have discovered that I very much look forward to receiving "Christmas" letters. People have become so cleaver - photos and the story telling... charming and newsy. I have decided to do that myself soon.

Maya Angelou

oh, to have such a gift - to elegantly express wisdom

have an attitude of gratitude

good done anywhere is good done everywhere.

love and fear don't go together - fear will dominate...

all of this inspiration came from listening to a heartwarming interview with Maya Angelou on the Diane Rehm Show today

take the time to listen - you will be delighted it you do.

hope

hope, indeed

have you recovered from all the excitement of the election?

how do we honor the satisfaction and romance of the moment when history was made and many cried tears of joy?

i would like to honor it by integrating hope, courage and thoughtful speech and action, the qualities of Barak Obama that inspire me, more fully into my life.

i will be looking for a path that will allow me to participate in creating the solutions to our challenges. only time will tell when and where that path will be discovered.

compassion

"sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it"

"Heartfelt understanding of the human condition that encompasses the pain in oneself and others, dissolves judgment, and opens the way for acceptance. Sincere desire to alleviate suffering. " Angel Cards Book Kathy Tyler and Joy Drake

a few months ago my sister mentioned that she would like to bring compassion back into her teaching / classroom / school.

where and when did we loose our compassion? or perhaps we did not loose it but we forgot how to express it when we feel it.

at times, for me, the feelings are so strong and intense it becomes too overwhelming to be able to bring voice to it and express it to those in need. but as I learn to just listen and be there for those in need - not trying to do anything - just listen and talk through the pain, the feelings with them, true intimacy and compassion surface and begin the healing. we are a culture of doing and fixing - perhaps, instead of doing and fixing we can just listen and be with others, in a way that allows them to feel safe, then they can do and fix themselves and ask if and when they need the help.

surely teachers feel compassion for those they teach - for why would they teach? surely friends and family feel compassion for those they love...

yet, I have friends, good friends - I mean really good friends - who push and push and push... this drives me crazy and I no longer want them in my life when times are hard because compassion is what I need and want...

recently I have encountered more compassion from new friends who are younger, some of whom are gay men... many of my long term, female friends are strong women, a few years older than I am - many of them find it difficult to express compassion in a gentle way - has our culture required this of them as they made their way in trying to change the place of women? look at the difference between Hillary and Barack... look at the difference between Barack and Jesse Jackson...

the challenge for me is to find a way to express my compassion and remove my need to fix things... as my compassion is expressed and the conversation begins about the suffering, the pain, the block, the challenge, then I can offer my own experiences, challenges and wisdom to open up understanding and perhaps growth and healing in the other person. love - it is really expressing love, isn't it?... by revealing to others the lessons that helped me grow through my own challenges.


"Live with vision, intention and determination."

adapting, taking just enough, accepting what was given, never pushing too hard

The Hopi have worked their homelands for centuries. To survive meant adapting, taking just enough, accepting what was given, never pushing too hard. They grow beans and corn, mostly, coaxing crops from hostile earth with some of the same ceremonies and planting calendars that have served them for centuries.

...in 1878, John Wesley Powell foresaw the risks of demanding too much of the natural environment. He argued that people should build settlements based on watersheds, managing resources collectively to encourage wise use.

Naturalist Aldo Leopold proposed the idea of “land health” and suggested that if people regarded themselves as a part of the wider natural world, they would understand their true impact on the land.
“We abuse land,” he wrote in 1949, “because we regard it as a commodity belonging to us. When we see land as a community to which we belong, we may begin to use it with love and respect.”


http://www.azcentral.com/news/green/articles/2008/06/27/20080627sus-impact0627.html

dirty air = beautiful color?

wow - the 3rd high pollution advisory...

the good news? rumor has it that the dust in the air is what contributes to the color in our sunsets

however - the following report from our government's Air Now web site suggests that part of the ozone pollution is blowing in from California - hmmm
And, who knew that the clean, dream communities in the northeast and east Valley are where the pollution ends up... also, when I watched the May 31st loop graphic map display the path of the ozone pollution, I was stunned to see that the higher concentrations start in the "out of the big bad city and pollution" towns of Cave Creek and Anthem and then move into the Valley... just goes to show us that we are all in this together - California's air pollution is our air pollution and everyone in the Valley is responsible for the quality of our air.

AN OZONE HIGH POLLUTION ADVISORY REMAINS IN EFFECT TODAY JUNE 01 AN OZONE HEALTH WATCH HAS BEEN ISSUED FOR MONDAY JUNE 02 Much of Arizona -- but especially the Phoenix metro area -- experienced near to or unhealthy levels of ground-level ozone on Saturday; monitors at Casa Grande, Yuma, Tucson, and even Flagstaff also registered high or unhealthy ozone pollution concentrations. The combination of desert heat, sunny skies, relatively light winds, high sun angle, and low-level winds with California ozone/precursor transporting capabilities all appeared to operate in concert to produce the highest and most widespread ozone event of the season so far. Unfortunately, the same synoptic weather pattern is in place today and 9:00 a.m. ozone levels at some sites are already higher than 24 hours ago; thus, the High Pollution Advisory will remain in effect. Much stronger westerly winds are predicted for Monday afternoon, so the far northeast and east Valley should be primarily at risk for unhealthy ozone levels again on Monday; an Ozone Health Watch has been issued for that day. Persons with respiratory problems should avoid outdoor activities during the afternoon and early evening hours. -Reith

sparkling mineral water - why does it feel so good

inquiring minds... I often like to do minor research on health related topics so that I can make conscious decisions about how I care for my body.

One of the doctors who helped me recently suggested that I drink Perrier regularly. I did so for a while when I was seeing that doctor often but then trailed off drinking it until I would encounter a set back in my health, especially when my digestion was off, and, interestingly so, times of extreme stress and fatigue.

The other day I started craving it again. This time I decided to stock up on it (well, to confess, it is on sale too - $1.25 each) so that I could drink it on a daily basis for a while.

Curious as to why I might be craving it I googled the topic "health benefits mineral water Perrier" - Perrier because Dr. Williams said that he had tried many different brands and found that it was the best... after doing some research (that I include below) I have decided that it needs to be an important part of my daily routine - also, I like the idea that it is in a glass bottle instead of a plastic one!

Drink up! Be healthy!


So here is some of the info I found on a blog by Dr John Briffa from London:
"a recent study which suggests that fizzy water may sometimes offer superior health benefits to flat.

The research in question, published in the Journal of Nutrition, was designed to assess the health effects of sparkling and still mineral water in a group of women. The study participants were asked to drink 1 litre of either the sparkling or still each day for two months, followed by two months on the other water. During the study, the study participants underwent a number of tests including blood pressure checks and measurement of a variety of blood components including cholesterol. Compared to the still mineral water, the drinking of sparkling water brought about significant reductions in the level of low density lipoprotein (LDL) cholesterol (generally regarded as a risk factor for heart disease), as well as a significant increase in levels of high density lipoprotein (HDL) cholesterol (generally taken to reduce heart disease risk). These and other biochemical changes induced by drinking sparkling water were estimated to reduce the women’s risk of developing heart disease over the next decade by about a third.

Quite what it is about sparkling water that accounts for its seeming heart healthy properties is not known for sure, though the explanation is unlikely to lie in the bubbles themselves. More likely, the benefits of the water used in the study are related to its high mineral content compared to the still water it was tested against. One mineral that the fizzy stuff was particularly high in was sodium - generally regarded as undesirable food constituent on account of its ability to boost blood pressure. However, studies show that low sodium diets may increase cholesterol levels. This throws up the possibility that the sparkling water’s relatively high sodium content might actually have played some part in its apparent ability to quell levels of unhealthy cholesterol.

Interestingly, the Journal of Nutrition study found that the drinking of the sodium-rich mineral water did not lead to any increase in blood pressure. One reason for this is that sparkling waters tend to be rich in bicarbonate, which is believed to help balance any negative effects sodium may have in the body. Personally, my belief is that individual keen to limit sodium in their diets need concern themselves less about foods and drinks that contain this mineral naturally, than processed foodstuffs that have had it added (often in considerable quantity) by food manufacturers. Sparkling waters rich in sodium may not have the healthiest of reputations, but research has bubbled up which suggests that they may actually offer considerable benefits for the body."

roots

everyday I go outside, wiggle my toes into the dirt and mesquite leaf mulch, let the sun shine on my face and imagine rooting myself there.

First, I envision the roots of a mesquite tree I saw on the side of a wash up near Arcosanti

- I had no idea that mesquites could develop such long, strong, tap roots...

then, I bring up images of saguaro roots that stretch out and around that magnificent plant for great distances in order to soak up every bit of moisture that comes and goes so quickly in the Sonoran desert.

I don't know - but - when I think about saguaros and how tall and balanced they are, I start to stretch out my arms and soak up more sunshine. I always relate to the saguaro more even though I am in awe of the mesquite.

Today, I realized, that although my roots in life are deep in many areas, I am so much more like a saguaro - preferring to spread out and explore many things to add balance to my life.

btw getting out of the house - huge - watching spiny lizzards, chuckwallas and desert birds - delightful.

arizona rainbow hedgehog cactus

early may beauty...

pods... mesquite

may - ironwoods blooming

change

Today, I read an article in the NY Times published on May 4, 2008, called

Unboxed
Can You Become a Creature of New Habits?
By JANET RAE-DUPREE

about change and how it can stimulate one's life / brain. However, those who have studied change and its affect on us have found that it needs to be managed to produce the greatest rewards.

The researchers, Ms. Ryan and Ms. Markova, refer to "three zones of existence: comfort, stretch and stress. Comfort is the realm of existing habit. Stress occurs when a challenge is so far beyond current experience as to be overwhelming. It’s that stretch zone in the middle — activities that feel a bit awkward and unfamiliar — where true change occurs."

"Getting into the stretch zone is good for you,” Ms. Ryan says in “This Year I Will... .” “It helps keep your brain healthy. It turns out that unless we continue to learn new things, which challenges our brains to create new pathways, they literally begin to atrophy, which may result in dementia, Alzheimer’s and other brain diseases."

"...scientists speculate that getting out of routines makes us more aware in general.”

Ms. Ryan "recommends practicing a Japanese technique called kaizen, which calls for tiny, continuous improvements."

“Whenever we initiate change, even a positive one, we activate fear in our emotional brain,” Ms. Ryan notes in her book. “If the fear is big enough, the fight-or-flight response will go off and we’ll run from what we’re trying to do. The small steps in kaizen don’t set off fight or flight, but rather keep us in the thinking brain, where we have access to our creativity and playfulness.”

I wonder - if we indeed activate fear, are we also activating an adrenalin rush? So, if we are in a constant state of change, is it a constant high? hmmm

Anyway - I could relate to the "running away" part
...sometimes we have no control over the change that comes into our lives, how then do we go about managing our lives after that, to weather big changes? ...fall into old habits to keep life sane until the impact of the change is reduced to a stretch instead of a stress?

just wondering...