winter holiday celebrations

...for years - maybe 10 or more - I have been trying to design a holiday tradition for myself that reflects my beliefs. I found that this is a bigger effort than I ever expected - revising and / or creating new traditions. I thought I could replace everything that existed overnight - boy, was I wrong... it has taken years of thoughtful contemplation to understand what would satisfy my soul.

For me, the main reason for the celebrations this time of year, is a carry over from the Catholic traditions within which I was raised - our spiritual connection to each other through love, our connection to all the creatures on the earth and awe of the universe. Love and Nature...

Now, since my beliefs have moved from a specific religion to a broader spiritual view, what rituals can I adopt or create that would help me to celebrate the themes of the season?

I found that totally rejecting everything left a huge void that I did not like. I started with the negatives - what bothered me about the season? I guess I started that way because I was so put off by the need to spend without thought and give stuff without need, show up for services without feelings.

Some of the elements that I have discovered are essential to me to complete the season are: spiritual ritual to honor each other and the awe of nature, gatherings with family and friends to renew and find joy with each other, reviewing the past year and acknowledging the blessings, sharing this acknowledgment with friends and family, singing, giving - a way of sharing blessings.


As far as gatherings go, in the past, Paul and I had a tree trimming party to bring people into our home to celebrate. My family went to midnight mass (which turned into just Christmas eve mass - not at midnight) on Christmas eve and then over to my parent's for a gathering and exchange of gifts. Paul and I would take turns spending time with our families - early Christmas eve with his family and then late Christmas eve with mine.

So many things have changed since then. Paul is gone. Only his sister and her family are left and we don't really stay in touch. My family is changing as well.

I am uncomfortable with the focus on gift giving. I don't like the commercial aspect, especially when it creeps more and more into the Fall (I love Thanksgiving Day celebrations and don't like that to be overshadowed) instead of just being a season of giving in the days close to Christmas... and the tradition of Santa Claus? - not compatible with this desert dweller in Arizona. I am delighted that my family finally included me by having a White Elephant gift exchange. This has become a wonderful, fun event that even I, the originator of the theme for our family, did not foresee.

The more I thought about it, even a Christmas tree does not fit into my environment and life style. I love the smell of conifer trees so when we had a tree I made sure we had a live tree and then recycled it through the city. Without a tree and all of the ornaments - what's a person to do? ...now tree trimming does not make sense. Does one try to find a local substitute to a conifer and decorate it?

I have discovered that I very much look forward to receiving "Christmas" letters. People have become so cleaver - photos and the story telling... charming and newsy. I have decided to do that myself soon.